currently: ten things
Saturday, December 21, 2013 at 6:00AM 
1. Trimming the tree. A huge tradition in our home has been that we ALL trim the tree together. I usually surprise the younger kids each year by hauling a truck load of baubles, berries, garland and lights from storage locker while they are in school. I get most of the house to resemble something out of the North Pole by the time they arrive home, but leave the tree for ALL of us to trim together. This year that proved to be almost fatal to our tradition. Just like the family Christmas photo, it was next to impossible to get everyone here at one time. It worked out in the end, but by the skin of our teeth. Our tree sat shimmering with nothing but 1500 white lights until this week. I am sad because I don't want our tradition to end, and yet I know the time has come to ALTER our tradition. Three of our five children are over the age of 20. This alone speaks volumes as to why we can't all agree on a date and time to be present together. I know LIFE is happening around here, but I am clinging to last bit of time I have with my "kids." To me, that is what they still are. Kids. I don't want them to stop trimming the tree with me because they have families of their own. Instead, I want to enlarge that circle of custom to include their children too. So maybe we won't all be present on the same day next year. Maybe we will trim the tree as we go. Adding to it, little by little, like we have added to our precious family over time. Maybe I will embrace the fact that instead of ONE day with all of my children I will get SEVERAL days with them as they come and go according to their harried schedules. I think I could live with that.
2. Treating myself to a Christmas coffee. I was a long lover of coffee. An over-indulger to say the least. I have recently made the choice to let go of that habit, that addiction- at least on the scale that I was partaking before. Most days I have no coffee. It was a long haul getting to that point. Headaches, cravings, more headaches, but I feel better not drinking so much of it anymore. Once in awhile I treat myself to a special cup '0 joe and it is just that- a treat. It tastes better, smells better and I enjoy it more. This week I treated myself to a cup of Christmas at Starbucks. Awesome.
3. Digging through all my drawers and bins to purge old papers, tags and trims so I could make something cool like this. There are so many projects going on out there right now in the art world, and I, like most of us, want to try them ALL. Over the last two years our lives have changed so dramatically around here that I have gone from never batting an eye at spending to budgeting everything in my life, right down to that aforementioned coffee. I hated it in the beginning. I have never had to worry over money and it was a huge life change. Did I say I hated it? I cried, I whined a little, and most of all I worried. I worried about lifestyle changes and what people would think. Crazy, right? But human. It took me a whole year to realize that I have always been thrifty. Just because I could no longer go to the mall on a whim and spend $200 didn't change who I was. I have always shopped thrifty, always cut my coupons, always looked for the deals. The only difference was now I HAD too. And guess what? In the end it didn't matter at all. No REAL important thing changed. So I didn't have a new outfit every time I met my pals for lunch. So what. The big picture is this- I am happy. I like re-purposing, recycling, reusing. It is WHO I am. So when it comes time for awsesome projects, I no longer allow myself to head to Dick Blick. I can't. I use what I have and I like it. AND I feel good. I stick to my budget, I use up some stuff that I have on hand and I move on. The end.
4. Enjoying the lights. Much to my surprise they are everywhere this year. One of the things you do on a newly formed budget is ALL THE FREE STUFF YOU CAN FIND! Turns out I wasn't the only one in the family who loved taking drives to see the Christmas lights. When we took our daughter back to college last week we took the long way. The scenic route, no highways, just lots of stoplights and neighborhoods. We were thrilled at the amount of good cheer we witnessed in the form of lights! Regular people were still making an effort. It made me smile. We are not the only family in the world to be affected by the economy over the last several years. Certainly we are not the only ones to put what matters first. GOODWILL TO MEN. Just the idea of spreading cheer through beauty and art is heartwrenching. Every other house we saw was spreading the cheer. But the thing that touched me the most was this- most homes weren't decked out with 6 million lights. Most homes were humble in display- a simple lit wreathe on the door, or a single strand of lights strung over the railing- they were spreading their cheer, sharing their light of the season, no matter how small it was, and it made me realize that this world might just have a chance at healing itself.
5. Finishing up the prepping of my planner for a big project starting next year! This is going to be the best way to document your everyday life. The good, the bad, the busy. Even the ugly sometimes. Life is real. It is happening. Every day, whether we like it or not. It took a long time for me to realize that, but despite if it is perfect or not, it is still ours, and for that it is worth remembering. I hope you will read more here about THE DOCUMENTED LIFE PROJECT and join in on the challenge! I will be documenting my life alongside of Lorraine, Roben-Marie, Barbara and Sandi as we host a year long project that will leave you smiling!
6. Catching up on December Daily. I was not great in the beginning, but I am getting there and will be on target by the end of December. Hopefully. I have enjoyed creating the entire project from all of those re-purposed supplies I talked about earlier. I have been using photos of every day life. Not necessarily things that remind you of the season, but to me will represent OUR December this year. This year has been filled with trials and lessons learned- something worth remembering. It has been rewarding to see it come together, especially knowing you started with a handful of stuff you thought you would never be able to work with. I will be posting a few peeks of my miniature book and pages along the way on the blog! You can also find some peeks on Instagram here.
7. Taking my busy stuff with me. I spend a great deal of my afternoon in the car. Like many of you I am the head taxi driver in my family, and from the moment that last school bell rings we are on the go, shuffling kids from here to there until dark. Having some busy work with me not only passes the time, but often sparks inspiration. I usually take my art journal, a book, my camera and some fabric or yarn project. Crochet is a great and easy thing to do in the car!
8. Finding new uses for old things. I had a bunch of leftover tags and stuff from another project that I was packaging up for the school when I came across this cute card. It asks you to list the contents of your pockets. I must confess. I am a weirdo when it comes to pockets. A. I try to have them in all things I buy. B. Anything small I pick up off of the floor I stuff in them. Yes, I know, this is usually a healthy mix of lint, threads and paper scraps. I toss them all when I pass a trash can. I have been stuffing garbage in my pockets since my first child was born. Don't want anyone crawling around and choking on something now do we? C. I have my hands in my pockets whenever I can. I do not know why. This is something I have done since I was a child. I think maybe I used to hide my hands because I bit my nails. Who knows. I just know that this little card spoke to me! I had to use it in my planner for The Documented Life Project, along with a few art pops from my friend Roben-Marie.
9. Tis the Season to do puzzles. We always seem to drag a big, complicated puzzle out at this time of the year. We leave it set up and all take turns working on it. At any given time one or all of us will be at the table looking for that sure to be lost piece. This years' puzzle might just prove to be the toughest. Coincidence? I wonder. Our year has been, continues to be the biggest, toughest puzzle to date. We are a big family. We don't ALWAYS agree on everything but we do always find a way to work it out, work together in the end. To some degree, each one of us has been lost this year, like that puzzle piece- Just waiting to be found. And somehow we always manage to pick one another up off the floor and dust each other off. Next year will be better. Maybe. Who knows. But I do know this- we have each other. We will continue to support one another, look out for one another and count on one another to make our lives whole. Not unlike our puzzle.
10. Sitting on my stool while I can. I would sit in the studio all day and make art if I could. Which one of us wouldn't? I have been blessed these last ten years with a big beautiful studio and I love it. I took my time, over the years, making that space mine. It has served as more than a studio though, it has been a lot of things to all of us. This room is the birthplace of winning science fair boards, countless works of art, and loads of school projects. It has seen some of us huddled over a pile of beads with the glue gun making Harry Potter wands for the entire family. It has seen some of us printing dozens of term papers, year after year. It has seen some of us sneak in to write his Christmas cards late on Christmas Eve. It has seen some of create the first beautiful thing we ever saw published. It has been more than a craft room, an art studio, a print center. To me, it has been a haven. A perfect place to retreat too when I want to be alone, think, dream. It has been a blessing. Today as I write this I am faced with the fact that I will be leaving this room behind in the New Year, and it has been sad. I will miss everything about my home, our home. We built it, we tweaked it, we worked on it for years to get it just so- we made it ours. It was perfect. It is perfect. But LIFE is not always perfect, and so we must make adjustments, arrangements, concessions. All along I have known it would be difficult to move after so long. We will be giving up alot when we do so. Alot of hard work, time, money and love went into this place. Times change, I know that. Jobs change, the economy changes, and so we must adapt. I will have a studio again, big or small, and it will be mine. I am a smart person. I know this, and yet I grieve. I saw my little girls grow into women here, my son a into a young man, my baby mature into a teen. I welcomed my first granddaughter into this home. That 's a lot of years to leave behind...and so I won't. I will grieve this "house", I will mourn the loss of my little haven, but I for one, I am taking my HOME with me.
Reader Comments (8)
Rae, thanks for sharing your insights and story. Life can be so unpredictable. I guess what matters is how we handle the good, bad and ugly. Your story is very inspiring. The holiday season which I always took for granted is extremely difficult this year after a terrible year but your writing has really given me a lot of solace today. Thank you
In this year of change for you, the constant is deep love. I am honored to be one of those people who loves and is loved. Xoxo
Thank you, Rae, for sharing your personal life on your blog. I didn't know you would be moving and I look forward to reading more about the changes taking place. Maybe you posted earlier this year as to where you are moving and I missed it because I was one of your blog followers on Bloglovin. If so, I would love to read about it if you will post the link in another posting.
I live alone with 2 small dogs (we expanded 3 weeks ago from 1 shih tzu to 2). My sons live in Georgia and Scottsdale and we aren't close enough to get together for Christmas. One son lives in Scottsdale and we are not communicating these days. Mom lives in a nursing home in Scottsdale with dimentia and we don't communicate very well, either. But I spent this past Wednesday evening with her and my granddaughter and her family to celebrate Christmas.
Blessings and I'm looking forward to THE DOCUMENTED LIFE project with you and all the other wonderful artists.
Marrianna in Flagstaff, AZ, USA
Thank you for your kind words today Tina. I have struggled with sharing any personal bits of life and its' lessons on my blog and I am finding, to my relief, that it is comforting to others, who struggle as well. I am sending a virtual hug your way and hope we will chat again soon. xo Rae
Always in my heart Sandi. Always. xo
I wish I could hug you Marrianna! I think the hardest part of this move of all is that we are only going to be down the road four miles. I am happy to be able to stay in this little town, but worry that seeing 'the old place" on a daily basis will be tough for awhile. We have acreage here, and animals and I will miss sharing all of that with my granddaughter...someday...someday we will start another little "farm" and all will be right with the world! I truly hope and PRAY that you will find peace within your family this season and in the new year. I will keep you in my thoughts and be thinking of you and yours often. In time all things can be healed. Let us hope that your family sees that healing soon. Big Fat Air hugs! xo Rae
Thank you for your honesty. Our family has also experienced significant changes and it is a daily challenge to keep fear at bay. It is so important to remember we are MUCH more than a pay check, house, vacation, or debt. You are not alone and neither am I, sometimes it feels that way. Wishing everyone who is struggling moments of peace in 2014! Art really does save.
Words like yours, Kristi, remind me to keep sharing. I struggle with it. It is hard to air the ugly parts of our lives...but just knowing that by doing so we might comfort someone else, makes it worth it. I KNOW I am not alone, but you are right. It feels like it. When you are surrounded by people who are not struggling it makes you want to withdraw and I don't want to do that. I have to keep telling myself to look up. I thank you for sharing your story too. Big hugs sweet girl!